Living with an alcoholic isn't easy

Thought I'd start a blog to record my thoughts on what is happening to me just now. My partner is an alcoholic. He knows this. Before I met him he had had treatment after a breakdown, but didn't really subscribe to it. He had lost everything through alcohol. He finally managed to get his life back on track - moved in with me; got a new job; got his licence back.... it was the job of his dreams initially and we couldn't believe how lucky we were that this opportunity had come his way. Last week he was working away from home and had had a frustrating day at work. He got very drunk..... and got behind the wheel to drive home. I pleaded with him not to, but he wouldn't listen. The next call he made to me was from the back of a police car. Sentence has been deferred for reports but I know it will be at least a 3-year ban. He has lost his job.... He has lost his self-esteem. He is so sad and ashamed. It hurts me to see him suffering so. I love him so much. He has been at home all day, every day this week, alone. I know he is drinking, but he seems to be controlling it (well, he's not getting totally wasted during the day) and I know how difficult that is for him. I love him so much but I feel totally helpless. When he's sober he just cries - when he's drunk he's either angry or talks about leaving me for my own good. He says he will not seek professional help but will "do it himself" this time.

I try so hard to keep him motivated and get him to look forward, but it's so difficult when I struggle to do so. I just want it to be 2 July again before this madness. Is there anyone out there who can give me any advice?

This is a wonderful, intelligent, loving person who is destroying himself through alcohol. He's 40 on Sunday.